2/18/11

Luck

I do not believe in luck. It doesn't make logical sense. I believe in chance and odds. And I believe in the desire to have odds in one's favor. But luck is like fairies. Fairies are a great thing to imagine, but they aren't going to exist just because you want to will them into existence. I wish fairies existed for real. (especially the ones that clean your house when you're sleeping or not home) But luck, like fairies, doesn't make sense to me.

I was approached by someone recently who said "You're so lucky you can run for so long. I could never do that."

I am too literal. My brain processes this in the most literal way possible and my first reaction is to be somewhat insulted. But I realize that this woman is trying to compliment me so I responded with some words of encouragement and thanks and I went on my merry way. But what was I really thinking:

Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. Luck did not bring forth my willingness and effort. Luck does not make me say no to indulgent and unhealthy food and alcohol(which I love love love love) and force me out the door to push through several miles of running. Luck did not make me willing to sweat through all of my clothes. (Yeah even my underwear is soaking wet after a long run- how lucky!) How could you call me lucky? I work my ass off and I still kind of have a big ass, all things considered so where is my luck? Surely you are joking. You cannot possibly be serious. You cannot call my drive, perseverance, and hard work LUCK!!! Moron.

And after this mental rant, I thought about the second sentence in her attempted compliment to me: "I could never do that."

Well, it's clear that you won't then, if that's what you've already decided. But if you tried, you could. You would have to try a lot. And try like you really meant it. And try when you don't feel like trying. And try the next day and the next and the next. You would have to try to keep trying even when it's difficult and even when it seems like you're not getting anywhere. If you did all that, then you could. And by the way, that's how I do it. If you do it, perhaps you'll feel lucky.

This doesn't only apply to running by the way...

2 comments:

  1. love it. i feel that way a lot. when i used to hear about people's loved ones dying and that they had to take care of them, i used to say i dont know what i would do if that was me, i could never do that. well, after i watched my mom get sick and took care of her and held her hand when she took her last breath, i say if it means enough to you....you can do ANYTHING. Its what you are willing to do to achieve what you want. its not that you can or cant, you can do anything. its really about what you are willing to do. and let me tell you the things that are the hardest to do are the most satisfying and fulfilling things you will do in your life.

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  2. I think you said it perfectly: if it means enough to you...you can do ANYTHING.

    I often question what it means when I do not keep a commitment to myself. It may be why I think New Year's resolutions are absurd- a tradition in conjuring up promises and claiming to make them priority just because you put up a new calendar to me makes no sense. I have just as much value as the loved ones in my life. If I have it in me to get something done (and I want to do it) that is enough of a reason to make the time and arrange my priorities and keep my commitment to myself.

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